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#DecolonizingWellbeing đ€May we all achieve the freedom to be ordinary!
đ« Though our ancestral rage and sadness must be felt and validated, sometimes we need to humble ourselves - especially when it comes to our own blood. We deserve to hold our predecessors accountable for the harms towards us that they were responsible for, and traumas they passed down onto us, in order to mitigate further suffering and heal ourselves. At the same time, reserving some grace and forgiveness for those who sincerely did their best with the tools they had at the time is also crucial for breaking generational curses. Dehumanisation is at the root of a lot of trauma, and the perpetuation of systemic violence. We must recognize the humanity of the people who raised us, which includes both the parts that brought us joy as well as brought us sufferingâŠ
đ«âŠand a crucial part of humanising others is recognizing that #Imperfection is not only inevitable, but deeply human. When we allow ourselves to feel our ancestrally-bestowed rage and sadness, letâs focus on the true roots of our collective suffering. When we dig deep, perhaps we will find that predecessors and descendants alike are survivors of the same violent oppressors, wearing different masks. From your grandmother who fled imperialist violence in her country and built a new life for her and her family from scratch, to your mother who quietly endured racist and gender-based violence for her familyâs survival, to you, who has inherited all the unfelt feelings of all the above, and now has the responsibility to feel them - no matter how the pain is projected, it might all just be from the same origins.
đ©âđ§As discussed in our post on finding common ground through intergenerational communication, some intergenerational wounds might never be healed in this lifetime. However, the best we can do is to do our best - to create a safe space for unaddressed emotions to be released, for untold stories to be told, and for meaningful moments to be shared as long as we are all alive. We all have the right to be human, and to be humanised.Â
đŹ In the wise words of Indian American journalist, Prachi Gupta, âI was just another product of inherited trauma, unresolved grief, and reactive survival mechanisms, like everyone else who came before me. We were mortals who felt ashamed when we failed to appear omnipotent. Now I see that my job was to release my ancestors from this burden, to allow those who come next the freedom to be ordinary.â
đ Be sure to check out Guptaâs book, âThey Called Us Exceptional,â for more on the Immigrant experience, the âModel Minority Mythâ that so many people of the global majority experience on a systemic level, and much more.
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